This rings so true. A young male relative was applying for college. I noticed his mother filling out the applications. I had told her he wasn't ready, but I'd only been a college professor for a few decades, so what did I know? First semester away from home, he crashed and burned.

A few years later he was ready to try again. He came to me asking for advice and a letter. I told him I'd help if HE filled out all the paperwork and I didn't see his mom do anything. He agreed. Now he's got a masters in computer science.