I don’t offer reasons, like discomfort. Simply this: “I know you mean no harm, but I prefer not to be called ‘sweetie, honey…’. Thanks.”
They usually say “Oh sorry,” in embarrassed fashion, but I smile and say “not a problem,” then immediately return to the business at hand as if the disrespect never happened. It has worked 100% of the time in banks, utility companies, and doctors’ offices.

With caregiver agencies or other businesses that hire lots of women (especially minority women), I’ve had to remind them about using “girl” for grown women. The women, who could lose their job if they stand up for themselves, have been so grateful I’ve felt tearful.


One problem is some older women who undermine me by saying they don’t mind being called “young lady.” I just smile gently and say “good for you” and turn back to whatever I was doing.